Well, Johanna had her 20 week ultrasound about a week and a half ago and we found out that we're having a little girl. I don't know whether I was surprised or not. I do remember thinking a little bit later, "Man, a girl. I may be in trouble." Growing up in a family of all boys the prospects of having a daughter are a little daunting. Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled to be having a baby daughter . . . but I just question my capacity to raise a little one with two x chromosomes.
Grady was a little disappointed that he wasn't having a little brother (although, I think that disappointment lasted a whole 10 seconds). He was with us for the ultrasound, but his grandma took him out for a walk shortly after we found out that he was having a sister because ultrasounds aren't really that exciting for a 7 year old. After I caught back up with him, Johanna went to talk to her mom and I took that opportunity to chat with Grady about his feelings.
I asked him, "So, are you still excited about having a little sister?" To which he simply replied, "No."
A little concerned, I asked, "Your not?" And he said, "I'm just happy to have something to play with." That just cracked me up!
There is a larger truth to his sentiment, as well. When I worked as a hospital chaplain, I quickly learned that one of people's biggest fears is dying alone. We all have a deep seeded desire for relationship . . . relationship with one another and relationship with God. That is truly the Good News of the Gospel. Through Jesus Christ we are able to have a genuine relationship with God and with one another.
In Genesis, God created human beings, look and saw that it was good. Maybe God was just happy to have something to play with.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Brett Favre, the Packers, and Relationships Gone Wrong
The Brett Favre-Green Bay Packers ugly divorce is almost over . . . thank goodness. I don't think I could listen to one more day in the "he said, he said" drama that has taken place over the past couple of months. As separations go, this has to be one of the most ugly, painful separations that has taken place while I've been alive. For some reason, the national and local sports media has covered this to the point that has made me want to scream, "Please, talk about something else!" But, like watching a car crash, nobody has been able to take their eyes (and ears) off of it.
Unfortunately, this current situation reflects the pain and struggle we all feel at different times in our lives when relationships fall apart. Maybe it starts with something small. An action that leads one person to believe that they're not cared about like they thought. A harsh word during a disagreement that's allowed to fester. Unresolved disagreements, though small, tend to build over time. Then, we talk to friends who support us and take our side, as all good friends do. Tensions build. Small hurts get picked at until we have open wounds. And before we know it, a relationship winds up being wounded beyond repair and we get a divorce, don't speak to a friend, a parent, a child, or another family member for years, we drop out of the church, or end up being traded to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The truth is, no one ends up winning or being better off in such situations. In the end, many such break-ups sound petty, despite the fact that their is true pain and hurt at their core.
Jesus knew that broken relationships with people we love is a painful reality in our world. In fact, he experienced this reality in his life. One of his 12 disciples, those who were closest to him, betrayed him to his enemies (many Biblical scholars would argue that Judas did this because he misunderstood what Jesus was about. He might have expected that this would force Jesus to start a rebellion against Rome with God's angels on their side, so that God's Kingdom would come immediately. So, in other words, the broken relationship between Judas and Jesus may have come about because of a misunderstanding--something we know a lot about). Peter, one Jesus' closest three disciples, lied about knowing him publicly out of fear. His mother and brothers tried to silence Jesus in his ministry because they were embarrassed.
And yet, Jesus preached about a world free of such broken relationships. The will of God is to live in a world, not free of conflict or disagreements, but in right relationship with God and neighbor. That means we are called to engage each other in ways that cares for both ourselves and those we are at odds with. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says, "If your borther sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the brother listens to you, you have regained that one." To me, this is meant to urge us to take our grievances to one another in person so they may be resolved. If we take a hurt to someone who truly loves us in a loving manner, they will listen, and we are likely to find that they have been hurt as well.
Just imagine how this Brett Farve fiasco would have turned out if Brett would have said to Ted Thompson (the Packer's General Manager), "Look Ted, I really want to play again. I just don't feel like you want me around or appreciate what I do for the team." Ted would have had the opportunity to say, "I understand that Brett. I have a hard time doing my job and preparing for the future of this team when I don't know if you're going to retire or not each and every year." And the conversation, beginning from their, may have had a different outcome.
Of course, the truth is, no matter how hard we try or how we engage in disagreements, sometimes relationships are broken beyond repair. At such times, we need to lean on those who care for us, and to remember that God loves us through such situations. The pain will eventually fade, we can learn from past mistakes, we are forgiven for our wrong doing (and we need to forgive ourselves), and God always provides second chances for us in life so that we can experience loving relationships with others (even if it is with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers).
Unfortunately, this current situation reflects the pain and struggle we all feel at different times in our lives when relationships fall apart. Maybe it starts with something small. An action that leads one person to believe that they're not cared about like they thought. A harsh word during a disagreement that's allowed to fester. Unresolved disagreements, though small, tend to build over time. Then, we talk to friends who support us and take our side, as all good friends do. Tensions build. Small hurts get picked at until we have open wounds. And before we know it, a relationship winds up being wounded beyond repair and we get a divorce, don't speak to a friend, a parent, a child, or another family member for years, we drop out of the church, or end up being traded to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The truth is, no one ends up winning or being better off in such situations. In the end, many such break-ups sound petty, despite the fact that their is true pain and hurt at their core.
Jesus knew that broken relationships with people we love is a painful reality in our world. In fact, he experienced this reality in his life. One of his 12 disciples, those who were closest to him, betrayed him to his enemies (many Biblical scholars would argue that Judas did this because he misunderstood what Jesus was about. He might have expected that this would force Jesus to start a rebellion against Rome with God's angels on their side, so that God's Kingdom would come immediately. So, in other words, the broken relationship between Judas and Jesus may have come about because of a misunderstanding--something we know a lot about). Peter, one Jesus' closest three disciples, lied about knowing him publicly out of fear. His mother and brothers tried to silence Jesus in his ministry because they were embarrassed.
And yet, Jesus preached about a world free of such broken relationships. The will of God is to live in a world, not free of conflict or disagreements, but in right relationship with God and neighbor. That means we are called to engage each other in ways that cares for both ourselves and those we are at odds with. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says, "If your borther sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the brother listens to you, you have regained that one." To me, this is meant to urge us to take our grievances to one another in person so they may be resolved. If we take a hurt to someone who truly loves us in a loving manner, they will listen, and we are likely to find that they have been hurt as well.
Just imagine how this Brett Farve fiasco would have turned out if Brett would have said to Ted Thompson (the Packer's General Manager), "Look Ted, I really want to play again. I just don't feel like you want me around or appreciate what I do for the team." Ted would have had the opportunity to say, "I understand that Brett. I have a hard time doing my job and preparing for the future of this team when I don't know if you're going to retire or not each and every year." And the conversation, beginning from their, may have had a different outcome.
Of course, the truth is, no matter how hard we try or how we engage in disagreements, sometimes relationships are broken beyond repair. At such times, we need to lean on those who care for us, and to remember that God loves us through such situations. The pain will eventually fade, we can learn from past mistakes, we are forgiven for our wrong doing (and we need to forgive ourselves), and God always provides second chances for us in life so that we can experience loving relationships with others (even if it is with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers).
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